Warning: It's Here!

The Christmas music is on the radio. I walked into the mall last weekend and there were massive gilded Christmas trees. The stores were ablaze with red poinsettias and green balloons. Yes. Christmas spirit is here. UGH.

For the tragic spinster though, as I say every year, cause somehow my spinster status seems sadly terminal, Christmas is no hoot. Scrooge ain't got nothing on the gnarly, manless, childless spinster. I used to really enjoy the holiday - when you had tons of family around and people visited each other and it was not about gifts and pomp, but about family and love. Now, with most of my extended family living in various parts of the world, and my immediate family not always together, it is just another day for me. One year I went to the cinema cause The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King opened on Christmas Day. I packed my Christmas goodies and walked my ass to the cinema where I was one of maybe 10 lonely fuckers in the dark theatre but I loved it. LOVED IT.

My mum loves the whole holiday thing and I try for her sake but it is a suckage type of day for me. New Year's Eve is a week later, as if to twist the rusty knife into the wound of loneliness. However, I manage better with this one cause it reeks of optimism and hope and helpless denial.

I was really hoping for a change of status this year to have someone to share the holiday with and rant about the commercialism to, but again, it's much of the same. I may just crack open something mildly fattening and snuggle on the couch with something soft and stuffed and watch a movie. Last year I ended up watching Love Actually (a personal Tamale fave) and ended up bawling on the couch. lol. God...need to plan the Christmas Eve night better this time.