Supermarket Chronicles

Hundreds of people around the world are doing it - blogging about this day in history and about Obama and change coming to America. Don't be too disappointed, but I am not. I think everyone else has said it. What else is there to say about Barack and Michelle and Malia and Sasha? What I will in fact say though, is "hurray Obama" - cause everyone either stayed at home or late at the office to watch the coverage and there was zero traffic and I was home by 4pm! Isn't that fantastic? I will also say Michelle was rockin' that green outfit and I am excited to see if she becomes the first First Lady in a while to rock the inauguration ball in something stylish. The girls looked nice too. They are a very handsome family.

Anyway, back to life in the developing world. So last Saturday I sat down with some truffles and watched one of my favourite movies, Ladder 49. Now the scene which sprung to mind this afternoon was the supermarket scene, where Joaquin Phoenix's character and Jacinda Barrett's meet in the produce aisle (it's always the produce aisle, ain't it?). Meeting a man or woman always seems to happen in a supermarket and here I was, with my little basket with my Cheerios, low fat cheese and some other essentials IN THE SUPERMARKET. A-ha! Would it happen for me?

Well...

Fresh off a weight loss compliment...

Uncle: You slimming?

Tamale: You find so?

Uncle: Yeah man...you look good.

Tamale: And I have been eating non-stop the past 2 weeks.

Uncle: Does not look so

Tamale: Wow. Maybe this is the answer - to eat like a pig.

...and with that swagger, I moseyed on over to the frozen section to get some french fries. As I walked towards the egg section, I spotted not one, but two awesome looking specimens and the first thought was "Oh God. Are they gay?" cause they were shopping together. Nevertheless, I pulled my frame up, pushed the chest out, no need to push the ass out - it is made that way, and worked those heels and those hips. Ay ay...nutten. Not even a glance. WTF! I saw them again at the ice cream freezer, and again...nothing. And one last time at the cashier. This time I got a smile but that was it. And I know I was looking ON today. I was on the phone with a friend and told her of the crisis and realised, this was yet another one of those important life lessons.

So the lessons learnt today -

1. It HAS to be the produce aisle with tomatoes and other breast-like objects or else don't bother

2. Follow your gut instinct always
3. Two men shopping together are clearly gay

4. The movies are all lies!
5. Always buy whole wheat/grain pita pockets in bulk when you see them cause they go quickly

6. Maybe a hardware might be the next attempt.