Here I am. Are you excited? I am. Kinda. A little. Maybe not then. In any event, I want to start back writing and fan power can help. So, get to work.
So there is a guy at work - now I normally do't blog about work or work people cause hey, you just dunno who is reading - but I think this is anonymous enough. Anyway, work guy. So a few months ago, we had a workshop on HIV/AIDS and the facilitator gave us a bushel of free condoms - both male and female and a wide assortment of ribbed, flavoured etc. I walked through the floor handing out the condoms cause of course I could not use them. Duh. You need to be having actual sex. Anyway, there is a guy I used to talk to and we got along fairly well, so of course I walked over and offered him a condom. Does that sound very odd? Offered him a condom? lol
Anyway, I did not expect the reaction I got. It was almost as though I had offered him a steaming hot bowl of dog shit and he was horrified that I would even think of giving him a condom. I was really taken aback by the ferocity of his reaction and asked someone else if he was super duper religious or something cause I did not offer him my vagina....just a couple condoms. But clearly I had miscalculated his level of normalcy.
I saw him yesterday in the elevator and do you believe he is not speaking to me? After all this time? Months? I said good afternoon and he looked me dead in the eye and stayed silent. Over a condom, ladies and gentlemen. I was just too flabbergasted to comprehend this turn in our relationship but the moral of this story is - when in doubt, use your condoms as water balloons.
If I didn't know you had just come from that workshop and you offered me a condom, I would probably have fallen over in a dead faint!
ReplyDeleteAfter all, the last "gift" I received from a good-looking female was my walking papers....
But seriously, folks: it's a great idea to pass them out to people who might be having "actual sex." Especially if your current chances (like mine, alas) are slim and none, and "slim" has stepped away from the building.
Good to see you writing again, Tam!
He sounds like a freak - even if you're not doing it, surely a 'no thanks' would have sufficed?
ReplyDeletePerhaps he thought you were accusing him of loose morals.
ReplyDeleteHe should have a condom on his head if he's going to be walking around with it stuck up his ass...
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ReplyDelete"when in doubt, use your condoms as water balloons" - LOVE IT. That guy is stupid. Nuff said
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