The girls and I went out to dinner on Friday, and as I met Bea, I was like "bitch!" How does a woman who just forced a 8lb life out of her vagina after 9 months of looking like a swollen cantaloupe with legs, get so damn skinny so quickly? And there I was, the fat, frazzled friend, after a long day at the office - on and off the road, in and out of meetings, with not even a lunch in my gut, yet looking like I swallowed the kitchen. It's just not right.
I read an article in the dead of morning today, as I was wrapping up....work (on the weekend) and it said "don't be passive about living" and despite my best efforts, I know I am being pretty damn passive. So how do you change this? My waking hours are spent working and then what's left over I use for sleeping cause I am basically too tired to do much of anything else. My friends are pretty busy themselves and this Friday outing was a miracle cause I can never get them to do anything besides clean up baby shit or crunch numbers at the office. I have stopped dating my mother, hardly date myself and am trying desperately to stop dating my kitchen, inclusive of fridge, stove and microwave.
Where on earth does it leave me? I am not quite sure. I am yet to apply and plan for vacation, cause I am either busy or indifferent. I am wary of doing yet another "solo" vacation. I love adventure and exploring and all but I am pretty tired of planning vacations around myself, looking for places a single woman can travel to alone, without fear for her safety. I have looked at singles' cruises and so far, it's a whole heap of old people looking for pre-retirement home romance. It's just not fun. But I need to give myself a vacation. I need a swift kick in the ass...and soon. I had hoped this year would be a great year but it has been a dud and though there have been some negative forces, it really is no fault but my own. I guess it's still not too late to fix it.
Some people are just naturally thin. *sigh* I've been losing again due to the job, and still have 10 lbs to go just to get to last years weight! It's a roller coaster.
ReplyDeleteIt is never too late T
ReplyDeleteI'm a born again virgin and haven't even tried to date. And I have fifteen pounds too many that I'm carrying around. I was also originally expecting a visitor staying this week while I'm on vacation, and she dropped right off the radar a month ago.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't alone in singlehood frustration, Tam.
Sometimes it's good to have a bit more. I finally got myself up to 54 kilo (from 47) and I was happy. Then I got sick recently and lost 5 kilos! Now, imagine if I had still had only 47....
ReplyDelete