The fear of Friday the 13th is called paraskavedekatriaphobia. The fear of Valentine's Day? nosexforweeksphobia.
Today. Friday 13 February. How do you see it?
a) As the day before Valentine's Day
b) As Black Friday - a day of superstition, fear and cheesey horror films all day on cable
Well, friends, I kinda look at it both ways today. I have always been a little bit wary of Friday the 13th cause the old people would always tell you bad things happen to you on Black Friday. I have thus never done anything out of the ordinary on Friday the 13th. So, you would not see Tamale deciding to make her first skydive on Friday the 13th, or have a one-night stand on Friday the 13th, for fear of going splat in some meadow somewhere in the first instance, or getting myself into a gang-bang in the second. I would go to work, come home. In this case, I am home all day today. It's sunny today but not in the mood to go out. Going out seems overrated lately. Sleeping in late is such a luxury for me, y'all just don't understand. Not having to set an alarm to jar me awake at 3 in the morning is such a breath of fresh air.
But I digress...
As for looking at today as the day before Valentine's, another thing comes to mind. Do I really want to go to the mall and see all the pink and red shit all over the shops? Hear all the sappy love shit on the radio - brainwashing the meagre minds of the world? And from my point of view, Valentine's is just like Friday the 13th cause it is all about fear. It is FEAR, not love that drives this holiday. Oh yeah...picture it.
Some poor dude, after a long day at work, taking shit from his boss, maybe just wants to go home, crack open a Carib beer or whatever, maybe pour some Angostura 1919 in a glass, neat - and as he gets to the halfway mark, he hears the radio announcer dedicating some shit song to some girl - some 80's stinker sung by some dude with a mullet - and it dawns on him, SHIT...I cyah go home without a gift. He pictures the girlfriend home, waiting in her little pink nightie shit, waiting for the little box with some type of jewellry, waiting to reward him for his efforts, with some once-a-quarter punani, and upon seeing him with nothing, turns from cotton candy princess to ice queen - for weeks!
Yep. Fear. It's fear all round. Fear of physical harm done to the man's person, cause let's face it ladies, men not really expecting or wanting anything for Valentine's, except maybe a little peace. And the deeper fear? Fear that maybe he does not love you - and by him braving the mall, filled to the nines with dumb assholes like himself, he is somehow manifesting this love for you, that you need to see manifested in some pink and red gift bag, or some small black box.
I am a woman but I conclude that Valentine's Day is some cult-based event, perpetuated by insecure women everywhere to convince them that these men are all about them. But take it from me, a gift on Feb 14 will not prove that he loves you. It just proves that he is 1) really stupid or 2) really good at bullshitting you. Any ass with a credit card can shop. It's not a high level skill.
Yes. I declared I wanted a Valentine, but I never said I wanted the pink and red foolishness instilled by fear. I want someone close to me to just emotionally support me during an amazingly weird time in my life and put a smile on my face cause the power of friendship is real to me. I am not going to hold a gun to anyone's head to do that. If I don't get it, I am my own best friend and I have a credit card as well, and trust me - I know how to use it.
I actually find the pink and reds, and the dazed love-sick zombies, scarier than the black cats and Exorcist movies. Petrifying!
if we could add graphics to comments, which we can't (darn!) I'd put a cute Valentines one in here for you.... {hugs}
ReplyDeleteany word from the job sector since the interviews?
I think Valentines is what you make it, yes there can be pressure to buy a gift because of the day but I don't need a day to buy a gift.
ReplyDeleteI tell my partner I love her every single day, I don't need Valentines to make her feel loved BUT it's her favorite holiday after Christmas, what kind of an ass would I be if I didn't try and make it special?
Would she cut off my balls? nope, would she stop loving me? nope, am I scared of not coming home with something? nope
So why I have I been planning Valentines for weeks?
Because she loves it and I love her so I CHOOSE to make it special.
That's the difference I think, if you feel pressure and fear and that is what drives you to do something, then you're doing it for all the wrong reasons.
I don't have to do it, I want to do it.
You know, I just don't think of Valentine's Day. Period. It's a non-event for me.
ReplyDeleteMy heart is devoid of passionate love. My soul feels no romance. My mind is empty of thoughts for any special lady, except those that are in my fantasies, and fantasies are not reality.
I believe in true love, passionate love, romantic love, commitment and exclusivity, but that ship has sailed and all that is left is this middle-aged man and his dreams standing on the dock.
The sun has set now, and so this man turns, pulls his hat down towards his brow, puts his hands in his pockets, and walks slowly away, alone, towards old-age.
As much as it hurts that I missed the ship, it hurts worse knowing that I never had a chance to board it.
Hang in there, HT, you're young and you have so many wonderful qualities about you. Your ship, WILL come in.
"It is FEAR, not love that drives this holiday"
ReplyDeleteYou are too young to be this cynical!