Jealousy kills

During my adventures this weekend, I ran into 2 friends - both male. Both married. Both with wives in tow. Two different experiences.

Encounter 1
The Tamale encounters subject #1 and his wife, while heading to a fab shoe store.
Tamale: Hi "Frank". How you doing?
Frank: I'm great. Just shopping with the wife.
Tamale: Hi "wife".
Wife: Hello. Nice to see you. I like that necklace.
Tamale: Oh thanks.
(small talk ensues for 2 mins)

Encounter 2
The Tamale encounters subject #2 while heading to the lunch table and as he is heading to his, where wife is waiting

Tamale: Aye. Hi "Paul"
Paul: Oh, there's "wife" (a clear signal that this encounter was over)
Tamale: Hi "wife". Okay, enjoy your weekend.

Am I closer to Frank than I am to Paul? Not really. But Paul's wife has decided for him whom he can and cannot associate with and it's quite simple - he cannot speak to women. Mind you, Paul and I are former colleagues as are Frank and I. So when we meet, we talk shop. And shop gossip. And other such non-sexual things. Frank's wife is cool. She recognises that hey...my husband works with women. I better learn to deal with it. Not Paul. I can point out countless examples of where this woman has had this man like an ass cause he is scared to have a female friend.

- He has my number and some of the other office girls' numbers stored as guy names.

- We were heading to lunch one day - Paul, Frank and I and she called and he shushed me so that she would not hear a female voice in the car. No matter that Frank was there - he still shushed me.

- The day of the 8 hour flooding, when everyone else stayed behind in the office, he left and sat in murky flood waters on the highway for fear that she would blow a gasket. I swear, a normal woman would have understood that it was an unusual evening and he would be better off staying behind until it subsided.

The sad part is, he is one of those men who dote on a wife. I would almost cut my arm off to say he ain't got no spare pussy on the side. The woman is ridiculous. HE is also fucking ridiculous. There's love and respect and then there's being an asshole.

So he emailed me this morning

"Thanks for recognising the signal and saving me from sure fire and brimstone".

Being quick on the draw, as soon as he said "there's "the wife"", I avoided the usual hug of greeting and passed him like a full bus, while waving heartily to her from where I stood, getting a half-dead wave back in return. Sure, I'm cute but really...

Like I would really be out homewrecking with my mother in tow. Knowing that he is a homie, mum asked how come I did not introduce him. Hello? For that woman to grab my poor mother by the throat??? I think not.

I hope, even in the most alternate reality, I never become one of these psycho women.