More Online Dating Horror

Photo by Walt Jabsco

After a hard day at work...
(insert digress here)

Work is okay. I have my "It could be good" days and my "I wonder how long I will last here" days. Today was one of the latter, without a doubt. But with about an hour left in the day, it became a "it could be okay" kinda day. With the exception of the kinda farse and bold faced girl who just sat her ass in my car without being offered a lift, thus pissing me off to no end, it was not a bad afternoon. I mean, I had my drive home all planned - some loud, sometimes off-key singing in the car, some chips, some phone calls. And there she was - storming my solitude. Without me offering. What kinda mothers are out there - don't they teach these kids anything about manners?

(end digression)

...you maybe want to come home to a glass of wine and maybe a foot rub after a nice hot shower, cause let's face it, 4am showers have a shelf life. I don't care how cold the a/c is in the office - you need to wash the day off your skin when you get home, especially after one walks into the ladies' room and there is the pronounced smell of a fresh load of excrement, with the suspicious smell of baby wipes mixed in. That kinda smell must have some staying power on the third party epidermis! So, I get home and there is only the hot shower, which is fine. I am destined to end this drought one way or another. I am destined to be coupled off sometime soon. This smacks of lonely desperation I am sure, but hey...I am not getting any sex to take the edge off so bite me.

(insert digression here)

So the cute, quiet chap at work tried to make a move today, but I was busy and had to voosh by him but he is making an effort and showing potential so maybe there is hope for him yet. Also laid my eyes on my colleague's form out of office wear today and all I have to say is "yeah buddy!"

(end digression)

So anyway, a few weeks ago for Valentine's, John Legend was on "Ellen" and encouraged people to use online dating, and since John said so, I have no shame in it. Cause noone else wants to date me. Gotta find alternatives.

So I come home and clack-a-tack-tack on the ole pc and there he was - the highlight of my evening.

Face smudged to protect the innocent
To be honest, Lermontov immediately came to mind though.
Lermie, you know I love you. lol

He sent me a note and wants to know me but I just saw the photo and thought, "My God!" and not in a good way either. And all his photos are of him and his tiny pecs, in a state of near nakedness, taking photos of himself in the mirror. And the scary thing is - somewhere out there, someone thinks he is sexy. I dunno - noone can convince me, not even with commercials and real-life tales of wedded bliss and 2.5 happy, smurfy kids, and a dog, that meeting a man online is not an adventure in insanity.